I'm telling myself 2012 is going to be the year I get married. I actually wrote that down as a resolution. I'm sure I made God laugh when He saw it. One thing I have realized lately is that the more I know what it is I want in a man. I ask myself, do I have those very same qualities that I'm asking for. The man that I'm asking God for is exactly who God is. I want to fight for him, be the strength he needs when life knocks him around. But yet it's so easy to feel so insignificant. I find it so easy to think so less of myself than to see who Jesus sees me as, His.
He gave me a guardian heart for a reason but yet I hide the little girl inside me and keep her from the rest of the world. Why don't I want others to come close? If I won't even let Jesus come close, I know He's not going to send someone. Though I wish He would at times. I guess no one really can love me the way my Dad loves me. The kind of love I want in a guy is only the kind that Jesus knows how to provide.
I wish I knew how to accept love and guard it. I hate those moments when just the sight of couple gives you a sinking feeling in your gut. I cried the other day at just a sight like that. I wasn't expecting it to happen and it hurt. The most comforting thing in that moment was that I told God about it. I can't wait to be madly in love with the guy that will say Kay I am yours and I'm going to say that is so cool.
Showing posts with label freedom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label freedom. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
She said, "No one,Lord." Part 2
In this present time in this country, many young adults and middle-aged alike have been falsely deceived regarding their sexuality. Globalized-leading economies and greedy moneymakers from various industries have caused many men and women to think that they're sexually free when the devastating truth is that they're in bondage. This sexual revolution breaks down marriage, breaks down families, it breaks down societies. Rapes go up, prostitution go up, sexual infections and diseases go up, children being born out of wedlock.
"20- and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross. 21- And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, 22 he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him, (Colossians 1:20-22)."
This is not sexual freedom, it's rebellion from the rules that were put in place to protect you. There are going to be consequences for living in the passions of the flesh. It's desire is to destroy you. Do you get this, sin's goal is to destroy YOU and keep YOU from GOD and YOU are POWERLESS to stop it. Why do you want to die for the temporary fleeting things in this life that you do not own and cannot satisfy. Sleeping around is NOT going to make you complete. It robs you of the deep lasting intimacy that should've been reserved for your husband. You should've been waiting for him and don't blame society because everybody's doing it. I'm preaching to myself as I say this. When you stand before God, He's going to ask YOU what did you do with your life for me?
Every human being is going to have to stand before God. I bought into the lie that sleeping around was sexually freeing. I had multiple partners and I couldn't understand for the life of me why I couldn't keep a man or get a boyfriend. My ex never said this to me but the guy that I fell in love, in some way I believe he broke up with me because of this though he's never said it to my face. How do you deal with the hurt of something like that? What do you do when the world tells you that it's okay to sleep around but right back treats you like a prostitute? One night I finally saw if I kept doing what I was doing, chasing race cars with no car, I knew death would be soon encroaching on me. this was December 2008. I told God I wanted out, this was not how I should be living. He answered my prayer and removed me from it. I've come to know of other girls who have been through the same situation as myself and have not received the same grace and protection that I've been given. I will say it again, sexual freedom as the world defines it is bondage. True sexual freedom is ONLY found in Christ when the lost soul realizes the one that they rejected and scoffed is the One that died to set them free. But it doesn't end there, Christ is risen! He reigns on high! And He's still working! He sees you lost one, He sees you broken and contrite when you think no one else sees you. Don't let it be too late and end up saying, I wish I listened to that person. It's not too late. He forgives, He heals. Confess your sins to Him. He's listening and His arms are wide open to receive you.
If you are not a believer, you are dead in your sins, you're a slave to them. Christ is the only way out from the bondage and slavery of sin. He took the wrath that should've been poured out on you. He loves you and hates your sin, He's not indifferent to your sins. Because God is holy and just, He cannot stand the sight of sin before Him. Sin will be judged.
For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 6:23).
In Christ you are a new creation. He died for every single sin you've committed and will commit. There's two ways to live, for yourself. The result of that is a wasted life that leads to death. If you live for Christ, you will have life and have it abundantly and for all eternity you'll be with Him.
She said, "No one, Lord."
John 7:53-8:11
English Standard Version (ESV)
The Woman Caught in Adultery
53[[They went each to his own house,
John 8
1but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2 Early in the morning he came again to the temple. All the people came to him, and he sat down and taught them. 3The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst 4they said to him, "Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery.5Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?" 6This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. 7And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her." 8And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. 9But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. 10Jesus stood up and said to her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" 11She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said,"Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more."]]
The pastor at the church that I attend presented a sermon this past Sunday on this portion of Scripture. As he read, I couldn't stop thinking about the woman's response to Jesus; she called him her Lord. I'm not sure if Jesus elsewhere in the Gospel or book of John has been called Lord yet, I'm going to ask my pastor about this. Already what my pastor taught on this struck the very core of my heart but yet I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that this woman called Jesus her Lord. Simon Peter had called Jesus, The Christ, Son of the Living God (Matt. 16:16). Simon Peter was Jesus's disciple too.
I'm completely fascinated with this woman's faith, because I believe she understood the full scope of the Gospel. She simply could've answered like the Pharisees and called Jesus, Teacher. She could've also called Him her Savior but she calls Him Lord. This woman is exposed in front of everyone; she knows she's guilty as guilty can be. The shame she's dealing with. She could've been on her knees begging for God to have mercy on her, but she doesn't say anything. This kinda seems like a small precursor to Jesus standing before Pilate being falsely accused. This woman was guilty of course.
At the very same time, this very scenario involving this woman I kept thinking that this could be a picture of mankind standing before Christ the Judge for judgment and there is no defense to prove man's innocence. He is guilty as guilty can be and his punishment is death. "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 6:23)."
Many people out there claim to be Christians and those of us that are, how often do we really live as if He's the Lord of our lives. That He's given us a free gift that we don't deserve. He told the woman to stop sinning because I've given you this free gift, I've given you better things. Your life is found in me not these things that your making yourself slaves to. In Christ, you're His prisoner now and that's a good thing. Who gives good things to a prisoner. When you're a prisoner of sin you're blind to it, you don't realize it until it's too late. And that's every kind of sin not just sexual sin. So why do we keep playing with these lousy mud pies that can't satisfy. We strive and strive and strive for better things in this life but the best thing that we need. We kick it, beat, stomp, crush the most valuable gift ever given to us. The gift that sets us free and reconciles us to God, Christ. We treat Him less than He is and why does He love us and pursue us when we don't deserve any of it?
English Standard Version (ESV)
The Woman Caught in Adultery
53[[They went each to his own house,
John 8
1but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2 Early in the morning he came again to the temple. All the people came to him, and he sat down and taught them. 3The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst 4they said to him, "Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery.5Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?" 6This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. 7And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her." 8And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. 9But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. 10Jesus stood up and said to her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" 11She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said,"Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more."]]
The pastor at the church that I attend presented a sermon this past Sunday on this portion of Scripture. As he read, I couldn't stop thinking about the woman's response to Jesus; she called him her Lord. I'm not sure if Jesus elsewhere in the Gospel or book of John has been called Lord yet, I'm going to ask my pastor about this. Already what my pastor taught on this struck the very core of my heart but yet I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that this woman called Jesus her Lord. Simon Peter had called Jesus, The Christ, Son of the Living God (Matt. 16:16). Simon Peter was Jesus's disciple too.
I'm completely fascinated with this woman's faith, because I believe she understood the full scope of the Gospel. She simply could've answered like the Pharisees and called Jesus, Teacher. She could've also called Him her Savior but she calls Him Lord. This woman is exposed in front of everyone; she knows she's guilty as guilty can be. The shame she's dealing with. She could've been on her knees begging for God to have mercy on her, but she doesn't say anything. This kinda seems like a small precursor to Jesus standing before Pilate being falsely accused. This woman was guilty of course.
At the very same time, this very scenario involving this woman I kept thinking that this could be a picture of mankind standing before Christ the Judge for judgment and there is no defense to prove man's innocence. He is guilty as guilty can be and his punishment is death. "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 6:23)."
Many people out there claim to be Christians and those of us that are, how often do we really live as if He's the Lord of our lives. That He's given us a free gift that we don't deserve. He told the woman to stop sinning because I've given you this free gift, I've given you better things. Your life is found in me not these things that your making yourself slaves to. In Christ, you're His prisoner now and that's a good thing. Who gives good things to a prisoner. When you're a prisoner of sin you're blind to it, you don't realize it until it's too late. And that's every kind of sin not just sexual sin. So why do we keep playing with these lousy mud pies that can't satisfy. We strive and strive and strive for better things in this life but the best thing that we need. We kick it, beat, stomp, crush the most valuable gift ever given to us. The gift that sets us free and reconciles us to God, Christ. We treat Him less than He is and why does He love us and pursue us when we don't deserve any of it?
Friday, March 25, 2011
Crushing on the Unrepentant - Repentance Pt. 2
It is a very scary thing to trust and believe 100% in the work of Christ Jesus because I have no absolute control over the outcome of the matter. I groan, whimper and find myself restlessly waiting for God to bring me that godly man. Soon it hits me that I should be acting this very same way in regards to Jesus, as I am eagerly waiting and groaning anticipating His return. It sucks waiting for what seems like a really long time but I don't think there are enough words to describe what they day will be like. Both when I get to say my "I do's" and when the King makes His entrance.
Knowing that this desire is such a difficult struggle for me, meditating on this, how am I going to endure until that day comes? I quickly realize that I can't win this battle on my own willpower and how desperately I need the Lord's help. Suddenly I am tremendously thankful and I remember, that I have a Helper, a Comforter, I'm not in this by myself. Jesus is not leaving me out to fend for myself.
It would be nice to have that guy but when I weigh the pros and cons in godliness, he doesn't look so desirable after all. The heart is so deceptive, I want my fill of mud pies instead of the waiting for the wedding cake that God's making. I just see how completely helpless, hopeless and destructive I would be if I were left to my own devises.
I count the sweet blessings of God's discipline because the Spirit will not make me find any comfort in these schemes of mine. Not even an ounce of satisfaction He allows me to have, pretty soon I get the picture. The hardest part and the challenge that God puts on my heart is instead of seeking my lustful desires and what glory I want for myself. Repenting of this sin first and foremost, God begins to change my heart and eyes to pray for the unrepentant crush. Prayer that God would be merciful to save and change His life. Surrendering this desire over to God and leave it at His feet and move on in the pursuit of holiness. That is true freedom from the power of sin; trusting in and walking in the saving grace of Christ, that is true freedom indeed.
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