Future Spouse...Like a Hiring Manager, Right?

My first blog in over two years! Yikes! A lot has happened in that time. So reading the title of this blog post you're probably like what the heck is this girl talking about. For those of us singles, have you ever felt like trying to find your future spouse is like interviewing with a hiring manager?
I don't know if you're anything like me but I have always been that girl that told every guy that I have ever had a crush on that I liked them. I can almost name all of the guys that I've had crushes on and told them. Actually found a note I wrote to a guy asking him out in high school the other day. But everything I would always get rejected, except that one time....that didn't end well either. Yeah never mind I've gotten rejected every single time. I know what you're thinking, I should know better and if the donts pop into your mind, you're already ahead of me. But for those of us that didn't grow up being educated about how relationships are initiated, the kind of relationships that will land you your future spouse.
I hate when I get a crush on a guy. A crush is like going on a job interview. You do everything you can think of to prepare and set your best foot forward to impress the hiring manager so that you'll land the job. You nail the interview and you're now waiting for the phone call only to find out that someone else got the job.

Finding a future spouse can seem like that at times and it's a disheartening experience that can leave a lot of people jaded and hopeless. But God has wonderful intentions for marriage. if you're like me, stubborn and hard-headed.  You'd think I'd get this after the umpteenth rejection but noooo. It wasn't until a couple of weeks ago but The Lord opened the eyes of my heart to understand that my future spouse is not a hiring manager.  I don't know what's wrong with me and liking white guys who are younger than me. I'm turning into a cougar!!! LOL Turns out this gentleman has a girlfriend. Relationships and jobs, dealing with the what if's when it comes to people in these areas can be really unnerving when you're trying to land one. But what has helped me when it comes to crushes and not let my thoughts get all sorts of crazy is, remembering that God is going to be the one that moves his heart to see (desire) me. God will bring joy in this relationship, He will bring a purpose for the relationship, The Lord will provide the opportunities and the means for both parties to actually establish a relationship that will provide peace and trust in Christ. I won't have a desire to be in control but to relinquish control because God is working this out for my good and His glory. When I reason like this and I have to, cause my mind will go nuts if I don't; I find that it is so much easier to love my brother in Christ and see past the attraction and the initial things that us girls want to make us plan our weddings right away. I find it easier to listen to him, respect him, give God thanks for his obedience and faith in Christ. It helps me gain self-control and confront whether I'm loving him or loving myself. I'm finally at a point where I'm like God you do it, get me out of the way!

She said, "No one, Lord."

John 7:53-8:11
English Standard Version (ESV)


The Woman Caught in Adultery

53[[They went each to his own house,
John 8
1but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2 Early in the morning he came again to the temple. All the people came to him, and he sat down and taught them. 3The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst 4they said to him, "Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery.5Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?" 6This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. 7And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her." 8And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. 9But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. 10Jesus stood up and said to her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" 11She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said,"Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more."]]

The pastor at the church that I attend presented a sermon this past Sunday on this portion of Scripture. As he read, I couldn't stop thinking about the woman's response to Jesus; she called him her Lord. I'm not sure if Jesus elsewhere in the Gospel or book of John has been called Lord yet, I'm going to ask my pastor about this. Already what my pastor taught on this struck the very core of my heart but yet I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that this woman called Jesus her Lord. Simon Peter had called Jesus, The Christ, Son of the Living God (Matt. 16:16). Simon Peter was Jesus's disciple too.

I'm completely fascinated with this woman's faith, because I believe she understood the full scope of the Gospel. She simply could've answered like the Pharisees and called Jesus, Teacher. She could've also called Him her Savior but she calls Him Lord. This woman is exposed in front of everyone; she knows she's guilty as guilty can be. The shame she's dealing with. She could've been on her knees begging for God to have mercy on her, but she doesn't say anything. This kinda seems like a small precursor to Jesus standing before Pilate being falsely accused. This woman was guilty of course.

At the very same time, this very scenario involving this woman I kept thinking that this could be a picture of mankind standing before Christ the Judge for judgment and there is no defense to prove man's innocence. He is guilty as guilty can be and his punishment is death. "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 6:23)."

Many people out there claim to be Christians and those of us that are, how often do we really live as if He's the Lord of our lives. That He's given us a free gift that we don't deserve. He told the woman to stop sinning because I've given you this free gift, I've given you better things. Your life is found in me not these things that your making yourself slaves to. In Christ, you're His prisoner now and that's a good thing. Who gives good things to a prisoner. When you're a prisoner of sin you're blind to it, you don't realize it until it's too late. And that's every kind of sin not just sexual sin. So why do we keep playing with these lousy mud pies that can't satisfy. We strive and strive and strive for better things in this life but the best thing that we need. We kick it, beat, stomp, crush the most valuable gift ever given to us. The gift that sets us free and reconciles us to God, Christ. We treat Him less than He is and why does He love us and pursue us when we don't deserve any of it?

Continuing:

Money-The Relationship Denter

So I was reading an article on CNN Money website called "What Spouses Keep from Each Other." Money plays a huge factor in relationships.  I'm guilty of this, hiding purchases from your partner is a big no-no. After reading the article I realized that this was an area that I needed to work on. I struggle with this as a single, but I see now that I don't want this habit going into a future relationship.

If you want to go one step further, I have to ask myself how is my giving to the Lord?  Am I cheerful giver? A giver to appease God? or do I just not give at all because I forget to? These are important questions to ask because it reveals how do I line up my money matters with the Lord. I confess that I have some habits and attitudes that need to be changed. I'm sure I'm not the only one who struggles with this and I certainly can't make any excuses.

We're such an affluent society and the temptation to spend and to spend on self is so tempting. The amount of debt, I'm not even going to mention statistics, everyone has some kind of debt that they're trying to pay off. Money is a weak area for me in my faith. God in His great mercy has bailed me out so many times and yet I still mess up. In no way shape or form, should that be used to judge someone because I have not yet mastered making wise money choices. I'm getting there and I believe that wise counsel in love really goes a long way to building the right habits about money.

I know that if I get married, I definitely don't want to be in charge of finances.  I am grateful to God for showing me where I am weak. I need His help to keep me away from those things or providing a suitable support system or better yet help me to overcome it. So I'm hoping my future husband is stern in regards to money and that God gives him the financial wisdom in that matter. At the root of my money issues and the desire to spend, is am I content in the Lord with my finances? See Jesus pulls and stretches all the time especially when you think you have one area down, He reminds that there's another area that needs working on. Jesus wants me to be content with Him in all areas of my life. That's why Jesus has to do this, not me, because it'll be an epic fail if I try to do it on my own. Sighs Praise God for giving me His Son and Jesus giving me His Spirit. Because of God I won't trampled on by Satan. I will overcome.

Jealousy of Those in Relationships

Over the last few weeks a number of my Christian friends have either started new relationships, gotten engaged or have gotten married. I'm excited for all of this happening in the lives of my friends but I confess my sinful flesh has brought up twinges of jealousy. Especially if you're on the single end of the spectrum, thoughts like : "What about me? Don't I deserve happiness too?" Satan begins to feed lies of jealousy, apathy, pride, anything that he can use to get us to not trust in God.

When I feel my own heart starting to go astray, by the power of the Holy Spirit I am stopped dead in my tracks. Only by His will because my heart really wants to go astray. I'm reminded of Jeremiah 17:9NIV - the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? It is only then I realize that my heart is look not looking to please God. I have told Him in my heart that what He has ordained for me right now is not sufficient.

Realizing the error of my ways and the ultimate nature of sin is to lead me to death, the fear of the Lord leads me in the correct wisdom and I see in the midst of my sin that the Lord is always with me and catches me before I stumble. Verses in Scripture that encouraging for such a situation like this when Satan has cornered you is:

Proverbs 9:10
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom,and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.
2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
2 Peter 1:3
[ Make Your Calling and Election Sure ] His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to lifegodliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, and

When I think of all that Jesus has done for us, I have to submit to the will of God because again I understand that my desires wants to lead me to death but God's greater plan  lead me to life and for all those who have been called by Him. How has Christ helped you in this situation? I sign off with this verse of encouragement:

1. I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2.with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3. eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Ephesians 4: 1-3(ESV)

In Response to: What The Bible Has To Say About Sex

Time Magazine recently published an article called What the Bible Has to Say About Sex. I couldn't even read the whole article I was so disgusted and upset with a righteous anger by the author Micheal Coogan. He has a book out called God and Sex: What The Bible Really Says.

I absolutely in no way recommend that you go out and buy this book. Don't you dare! This guy obviously is full of head knowledge but has no true foundation of a relationship with Christ. Nowhere in this article does this author profess anything about Christ. This guy is a false teacher in the worse kind because he's deceiving unbelievers, those who may not be strong in their faith and most likely deceiving himself. The most amazing thing about Scripture is that it is always proven true. God does not lie and everything in the Bible is consistent because every aspect of it points to Christ.

If you really want to understand what sex really means to God. The ironic thing about this article is that the author talks about the Book of Song of Solomon. Sex is a beautiful and amazing thing that God created in the context of marriage. If this author had been truly discerned by the Holy Spirit he would have realized that the church, the Bride of Christ is the one that is longing for His Return. He has promised that He is coming back to take us home with Him where we will be where we belong.

The true meaning of sex should serve to us as believers the longing and satisfaction that only can be found in Christ. He is the one that created marriage to show to us another aspect of who He is. Again going back to the intimacy and fellowship that He had with the Father before He came down to earth to die for all of mankind's sin. If he dug deeper and got rid of all the head knowledge and realized who He is in light of what Christ has done and who Jesus is, he would've been very careful to write that book.