Just Not The Same

It's just not the same when my heart wanders after another lover. Every time I cheat on my Saviour, He always comes running after me and refuses to let me go.

I didn't realize until recently that I have broken the hearts of a men that have been interested throughout my life.

It is so much safer to reject the one who cares for you than to let them in. It's quite scary to let the gentleman lead especially when feelings are not involved.

How do you not let your feelings rule and actually be able to see God at work. First thing that comes to mind is Jesus telling me to die to self and to ask how will He be best glorified?

There is a tremendous peace that comes with doing your work for the Lord. When it comes to relationships this gets a bit trickier when your mind cannot seem to quiet itself. But thanks be to the God of all grace whose sanctification reveals the sin in our hearts.

It seems like there's never a dull moment I'm not striving after marriage and motherhood. Again I give thanks to Christ for showing me that He's the only one that can stop my relentless heart.

Knowing how much I overhype, this week I was confronted by His Spirit,  Kadeesha where is your treasure? Is it in Christ or good gifts that too will never completely satisfy? It was a very sobering question that's been on my heart the last few days. The only answer I have is seeing the state of my heart through the eyes of Christ and to see that He's the only one that can make things right.

It's not fun dying to self but when my heart wants to run amock or I can't understand why I am where I am, I have to be reminded that the greatest treasure I've received is Christ pouring out His blood for me and as He reigns yet His love has not departed from me.

Oh foolish heart why do you run, why do you fail to see. The Lover of my soul, my God, Master and King, help my broken heart to see and rest in that great love which you have for me.